The Aptitude of Self Relfection
- Julia's Old Soul
- Aug 25, 2019
- 5 min read
“Mediation or serious thought about one’s character, actions, and motives”
-The definition of self-reflection.
-Self-reflection is essential for growth-
We heard it often as children “think about what you did” or “think about what you said”, but how well were these lessons carried out and how often do we practice them today? In school we were never taught much about self-reflection, and instead our superiors would often jump to scolding us for what we had done wrong without the help of choosing a better outcome next time. It wasn’t until my junior and senior year of high school that I had been taught about self-reflection and the benefits that it holds. These benefits carry on beyond your work or “fixing mistakes”, rather self-reflection starts with taking a step back to focus on your behavior, your beliefs, and what can be done differently next time. (Remember we cannot change the past, but we can prepare for the future.) However, this is not always to focus on what could have been done better, but also praising yourself for what you have done well. When reflecting and thinking about the past and how to make changes for the good, it is fundamental to digest these thoughts and let them go. Dwelling on the past will not help you, although reflecting and letting them go will.
Maybe right now you believe you are taking the time to self-reflect, but what happens when you don’t?
Without self-reflecting we keep continue moving on. We lack nurturing and may stay stuck in situations that do not benefit our well-being such as unhealthy relationships, draining jobs, and over all stressful environments. We are left with little to no energy, unhappiness, and unwanted frustrations. We all know someone, maybe even ourselves, that continues to push themselves to ‘keep up’ and that eventually this leads to burn-out. No one wants to waste time or slow down, but how are we supposed to understand what needs to change if we wont take the time to recognize it?
If anybody knows my father, you know he is famous for his sayings and quotes he phrases often. Maybe you don’t need to hear all of them such as “riddle me this batman“ or “what’s worse, that I said it, or that it’s true?” However he may be on to something when he often quotes this phrase:
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again but expecting different results”
But truthfully, this is what so many people do. We continue everyday complaining and we can’t figure out why nothing is changing or why we can’t just be –happier–, but we aren’t putting in the effort to make any changes. The truth is, when you begin to ask yourself these questions, it’s time to reflect on it and to ask yourself what you need to do to make a change. Take the time to step back and evaluate what isn’t going right and what you need to do to fix it for next time. I hear so often, and my guilty self included, that we “just don’t have enough time” or there’s “too much going on” or “I’m just too tired”. I get it, we get it, we all feel tired and lack energy at the end of the day, but until we realize just how significant it is to simply take a few minutes for yourself and self-reflect, you won’t be able to make it further than your own self doubt.
I will not lie and tell you that self-reflection is easy, because it can be hard and painful. When you first begin your journey of self-reflection you may start to wonder where you went wrong or blame yourself for past mistakes or even other peoples actions that have hurt you in the past. But self-reflection is also a journey of healing and helping you to find your self-value. It is a journey, but for your well-being.
Before learning how to self-reflect it is important to understand the benefits and the “why” we do it.
Self-reflection allows you to reflect and respond rather than react. Everyone has been in the position where they wish they could go back and change what they said or fix something they had done. However when you take the time to reflect on a situation first before reacting, you are able to respond to a situation with empathy. New perspective comes from self-reflection. Taking a step back from any situation and seeing it from an objective point of view allows you to find a new and deeper understanding allowing yourself to be more openminded. One of the biggest benefits is finding your own self-awareness. You understand yourself and your emotions more thoroughly and understand what you desire. This leads to greater confidence and self improvement.
At the start of your journey do not become frustrated with yourself. Self-reflection takes time and it is an ongoing process of healing.
The process of self-reflection: Reflecting on you, and important areas of your life.
[as written by Personal Development Expert Tracy Kennedy]
STOP: Take a step back from life or a particular situation.
LOOK: Identify and get perspective on what you notice and see.
LISTEN: Listen to your inner guide, the innate wisdom that bubbles up when you give it time and space to emerge.
ACT: Identify the steps you need to take moving forward to adjust, change or improve.
Reflecting on yourself and finding your self-awareness begins with questions. Below are questions to get you started on your self-reflection journey.
What are my beliefs?
What are my strengths?
Who do I want to be?
What difference do I want to make?
What do I love?
What is limiting me?
Am I creating these limits?
What do I want for myself?
When am I the happiest?
What am I grateful for?
How can I improve this area of my life?
Reflecting on important areas in your life include your family, career, home, relationships, spirituality, hobbies etc. Paul Meyer, a pioneer in life coaching and self-improvement created “The Wheel of Life”. The purpose of this wheel is to look at areas of your life that are important to you and rate yourself on a scale of 1-10. By filling out this wheel you gain perspective into what is important for yourself and what you need to make a priority for your happiness.
Overall, self-reflection should be a part of everyones routine, whether it is daily, monthly, when you fall off of track or just feel down. And self-reflection looks different for everyone! Taking this step to create a better environment or thinking space for you will open you up to new opportunities and lighter shoulders. Better outcomes, happiness, and problem solving skills develop. Life is about manifestation and what you want from it. It doesn’t matter where you start as long as you start somewhere and it feels right.
Comentários