A Letter To My Boyfriend; What I Have Learned The Last 4 Years

Happy Anniversary to us. We all know that nurturing a relationship isn't the easiest, but nurturing your mind can help.

Prom "Crisis" Adverted

It was five years ago that you entered my life and started a storm. Not a dangerous storm, but a perfect storm that came at just the right time and cooled off the hot and humid summer days. At the time you arrived we were both very young and naive. You could say that we still are. However, I was lost before you came, feeling alone and searching for answers in all the wrong places when I had them all along. The week I met you I had my eyes set in a different direction. I knew that it wasn’t the right one, but I was drifting that way regardless. The second to last day before the end of camp I stayed on the edge of the water. I kept my shorts on that day, too self-conscious to be seen, but loud enough to want to be heard. I remember watching everyone in the water but I didn’t want to get in. Not just yet. Behind me I heard a familiar voice. I pretended that I didn’t know what this boy said in order to give me an excuse to walk towards you. To walk away from them. Truthfully, I hadn’t noticed you until then. All of our near misses and lack of communication led me to standing in-front of you leaving the others behind. I no longer felt so alone. Looking at you was like looking at someone I had known for years. You were not a stranger whom I just met, we were two souls who had found their way to each other once more. I went to sleep that night in difference with the other nights. I was overwhelmed and confused. I knew something happened but I wasn’t sure what is was just yet. Years later I know exactly what it was. This was the start of pieces of myself coming together in unity. The start of an untouchable relationship, with both myself and you. However let us not be fooled. The following year was not you and I but it was filled with mistakes, wrong paths, and misleading judgement. Though it brought us together once more and I knew before I arrived the second year that I would be leaving much differently. My intentions were set differently, not on aviation this time, but on you.

Not a day has gone by that we have not talked since the second year of camp. Everyday for the past four years. I felt something so familiar and soon I began shifting. You became my best friend. I never wanted to stop talking to you, and I still hate to say our goodbyes. Talking to you makes me so genuinely happy. But I know, that I may not be the easiest person to handle and that at times it’s hard to make me talk, despite that I have never opened up to someone in the way I open up to you. Even in my darkest moments you become the light that I need to resurface. Yet I am still learning, we are still learning. Whatever this is, this relationship that we have created and endured, it works for us in ways no one else could try to make sense of. I thank you a million times, for your endless support. For asking me what I want, what I need, and how you can help. This means more than any physical gift you could bring because your arms make me feel more safe than any promises.

I am here to love you, thoroughly. I love your habits, your quirks, each flaw, and how often you talk about cars regardless of what other conversation we may be having. I love you for what I see in your eyes when you’re proud. I love you for the cow impression you make that made me fall in love with you on that old school bus. I love how precise you are and how motivated you become with what you love. I love you for believing in me, for trusting me, and for never giving up on us the past four years. I love you through all of your mistakes because you are a human. And I love you the most even when sometimes it feels like its so hard.

I love you for being you.

#anniversary #relationships #learning